Truth be told, social media is the most formidable foe of friendship and intimacy.
It gives you an illusion of closeness and personal touch while actually putting a barricade to the very things it is designed to bridge. Social media’s firstborn bastard child is none other than the smart phone. You see its effects everywhere; in the bus, bar, salon, café and boardroom. Two minutes cannot even pass by before you slide your phone open to see what is up on WhatsUp, who has posted on your Facebook wall, which of your followers have retweeted your latest tweet, whose profile picture is trending on Instagram and what new archive is in your Dropbox. Sadly enough, you check all these things as your friend or partner is left talking to herself while staring at your inclined forehead with your eyes fully focused on the contents of your phone screen; better yet, she gets bored and automatically slides open her own smart phone if she happens to have one.
It is therefore no surprise that the same thing ends up happening behind closed doors in the most intimate of situations. One of my favorite bloggers, Ciarra Ross, rightfully states that ‘something is completely out of order when the most important vibration to a nation of people is their cell phones’.
Now let us dissect the impact of preoccupation with smart gadgets behind the most important closed door: the bedroom.
Going through your phone while spending intimate time with your partner should be considered a serious crime of passion, which should be punishable to the highest extent of the law. I state so based on the belief that intimacy is not as trivial as some would have us believe. Our people say the best expression on love is spending quality intimate time with your ‘special one’. Why then should someone misuse part of these divinely phenomenal intimate moments to engage his bundle-based wi-fi instead of connecting deeper with his precious Wife/partner?
Social media primarily engages the mind and once the mind is sidetracked, the body and spirit follow suit. The dissatisfaction resulting from constant distractions when spending quality time with a loved one is a typical marital/relationship ticking time bomb.
The marital problems resulting from intimacy issues are already grave; why then exacerbate the matter by constantly stalling the full flow of affection due to obsession with a cellphone? It is good to remind ourselves that the uncouth and anti-social habits, resulting from preoccupation with social media, which we display in public, will automatically replicate themselves in the privacy of our bedroom walls.
Maybe it is time you tell your Facebook you want your face back; time to tell your Twitter handle to retweet your wit ASAP. Otherwise, the moments set aside for spending quality time with a loved one will just provide fertile ground for conflict between sacred relationships and soul-less technology. As for who will win this great battle, it depends entirely on which of them you spend more time engaging. The hope is that the signal to connect to your Wife/partner will be stronger than that of your smart phone’s wi-fi.
__uThanDiLe©2015
milabantu : the soul of a brown boy 